Heart Full of Hope, Mind Full of Secrets |
This is the regurgitation of my heart. You're free to spill yours too. |
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(Source: crazycrimeclowns, via bonethief)
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(via helplesslyamazed)
Growing up the youngest child, only girl, pretty talkative and a little quirky basically meant that anything I said or did could not be taken seriously. I learned early that most times I opened my mouth or did something a little crazy or forward I would be made fun of. It quickly became easier to not let myself be vulnerable around my family and friends. I didn’t want to be embarassed or judged or stereotyped.
The sad thing is…this lifestyle didn’t exactly foster the growth of my self esteem.
Now i’m Nineteen years old, and I’ve never even had the middle school relationship where all a couple does is hold eachothers hands and walk around a lake and talk. I’ve never been asked out (by anyone my age and remotely attractive). I’ve never “talked” to a guy in that “intro to dating” kind of way.
I’m stuck in this rut because I am too scared of making a move. Too scared of putting myself out there. Too scared of being hurt, or judged or whatever.
I like to keep my feelings to inside, but maybe If I start to open myself up a bit…even if it’s just venting through a keyboard to an invisible audience…i’ll finally be comfortable with myself.